Salvation is here!
Feeling inarticulate? Critically gauche? Or just verbally impotent?
We here at Pixmaven have developed The Instant Art Critique Phrase Generator so you need never again feel at a loss for pithy commentary or savvy "insights." With this device you can speak about Art with both authority and confidence. Use this marvellous tool to amaze and confound friends and colleagues. Don't miss this opportunity to menace and dumbfound professors and artists emeriti!
The instructions are simple-- type any five digit number in the field below, click 'Create,' and enjoy your ready-made Critical Response to the Art Product (or CRAP). Now you can produce CRAP critiques as easily and fluently as anyone in your MFA program!
Please use this product responsibly.
Please enter your number here:
Voilá! Your instant Critical Response to the Art Product:
Many, many thanks to Eric Hayes of teamh.com for the generator script!!
Now you can enjoy this product at home! It's so simple!
First, download the Instant Art Critique Phrase Generator Tables:
PDF format or Word format
Write down any five digit number at random, we'll use 54308 for our sample. Then read phrase #5 from Table A, then phrase #4 from Table B, and so on. Have a greater impact by adding more digits for a longer statement!
Sample: 54308 produces this beautiful, ready-to-use specimen of Art Speak:
"Although I am not a painter, I think that the reductive quality of the spatial relationships verges on codifying the substructure of critical thinking."
|